Mixed Feelings

In a few days I'll be leaving Minneapolis to return to my home in Holland.
I'm excited and I'm sad.
I'm looking forward and I'm regretting.
I'm ready and I'm not.

Yet, I know it is right for me to move on. I know it's God's plan that I leave my family for now. But it is still hard to leave. Doing the right thing doesn't means it's the easy thing.
Mom's health is somewhat stable though she is certainly weaker than when I arrived eight months ago. She courageously faces each pain-filled day and just takes one step after another. She lives each day by the grace of God and this is how she worships Him.
Our family met together the week before Christmas and discussed how we can continue to care for mom in the days ahead. We're pulling together to make it work and, in doing so, showing our love for mother and for one another.

I will miss my family, especially my mother.
I will miss my home church, especially the closer friends God has given me there.
I will miss many other friends and our rendezvous for coffee.
I will miss the climate and culture of my home state.

I look forward to my own home in Holland, my friends, my church, my life and purpose there with Youth With A Mission, the Dutch culture.

There is a time for everything, and a right season for every activity under heaven:
... a time to plant and a time to uproot,
... a time to weep and a time to laugh,
... a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
... a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
... a time to stay and a time to go (Ecc.3)

Proposal!

Well, it is not my proposal but the next best thing: my sister's.
Barbarah's boyfriend, Kent, invited me to the Christmas play they are both part of - "The Gospel according to Scrooge". He piqued my curiosity by saying he had a surprise planned for Barbarah. I figured it could only be one thing so I came, armed with my camera and wasn't disappointed. Enjoy this short video clip of his proposal to Barbarah.
Blessings,
Belinda

Funeral at YWAM Denver

Of all the YWAM bases in the USA, the YWAM Denver base is the base I know the best. My friends, Peter and Linda Warren lead the base and had even invited me several years ago to join their staff. I've been there several times, as recently as 2 years ago, to teach in their schools. So, in a real sense, I'm sharing in their grief and pain these days.

I'm posting this video clip from our YWAM Proclamedia site.
This is not what you'd see on the regular TV networks about the shootings recently at the YWAM base in Denver, but it's the most important message of all.
This video is only 13 minutes long and worth taking the time to see.

Thanks for your prayers for the YWAM family!
Belinda

Pow - Wow

To Americans the Indian term "pow - wow" is familiar and it means a gathering to discuss important matters. That's what my family is doing these days because in 3 weeks I'll be flying back to Holland.

Eight months ago I arrived here with the purpose of caring for my mom and spending valuable time with her. It was God's grace that I could be here, especially during the extra care that was necessary after she fell and broke her foot early this summer. God has really taken care of the details and there is no reason to believe that will change now. I know it's right for me to return to Holland and I trust God is in control.

Many people have commented to me that they're amazed and blessed that I'd care for my mom like this. As I face my imminent departure the questions are being raised about mom's care. Are we considering assisted care living, a nursing home, or home health care, etc... It seems that we are in the minority when it comes to caring for an elderly parent. Probably 95% of the time here in America the most likely option is a nursing home.
Most of my 3rd world friends understand the responsibility of caring for an aging parent - to them it is "normal".

When Mom, Barbarah and I were "pow-wowing" about our options this evening, we each felt that it is important that somebody shows a different way of caring for their parent. Many people don't seriously consider it because they've never seen someone else do it. Next week we'll pow-wow with the rest of the immediate family about how we can continue to be family for one another in the days ahead.

Frankly, I totally understand that it's not always possible to care in this way for one or both parents... my father's care is a case in this point. When it was apparent that dad needed extra care and assistance, we siblings had a "pow-wow". I remember praying about it and asking God to speak to me clearly about whether or not I should leave the mission field for a time to care for dad. The answer was "no"... in my heart of hearts I knew, we all knew, that dad (known for his stubborness) would never have listened to any of us, thereby short-circuiting any care we could have given him. No, for dad it was better to include an unbiased 3rd party, the Good Samaritan nursing home. Dad's last days were the best we could provide, with lots of involvement and visits from each of us. This was absolutely the right scenario for dad.

With mom it's different - she is a team-player and the one who instilled in us the basics of what it means to be family. So, it's not just caring for her, but how we care for one another - that's family.

Fresh Air

Thanks- giving weekend...

Barbarah is home and I've headed to the North Woods of Minnesota for a 3 day retreat. It's a breath of fresh air for me to escape to the outdoors world.

This morning Honey and I took a 3 hour hike up Gooseberry Falls... the waters are freezing in the winter weather. Soon snow will cover the ground instead of simply dusting the edges.

Ahh, deep breath...

Thankful for this little getaway, the silence, like the blanket of God's presence. His voice seems so clear to me out here

Grace 2 Glory

Every once in a while Mom will have a day when she doesn't hurt... perhaps it's a warm day with a low barometric pressure that relieves the pain of arthritis, or maybe it's just an extra bit of GOD's GRACE that envelops her... but in those increasingly rare moments, Mom shows a bit of the spark and spunk of her personality and what we see is a GLORY MOMENT.

This little video clip is worth the wait, especially if you love mom even a fraction of what I do...

Mom says I only write about her in my blog, well I suppose that's true these days because my life revolves around her in this season. Frankly, I'm just pleased to "share" her with you.

Blessings, Belinda

p.s. this was a "glory moment" from last year when Mom could still stand and balance on her own two feet for a while. She dances with laughter nowadays instead.

Faraway

6 months away from "home" and 6 months at "home".
My true "home" is in heaven... not here on earth.
Yet, I long for HOME.

Years ago I wrote a song that reflected this dilemna:

Faraway in a land
Where the North wind blows and blue waters flow
Is the place I call home
All your lovingcare taught me how to share

Faraway is a place
Where the land lies low and the tulips grow
Welcoming open arms,
Being friends with me, like a family

Faraway in a land
Where a jungle grows and it never snows
I will come, I will go
See your smiling face, feel your your warm embrace

Faraway in a place
Where Gods wonders tell how a red star fell
He put your name in my heart
Into prayer He led before we ever met

And a part of my heart is right next to yours
Through the valleys and seas
God keeps us faithfully
You're never faraway
You're never faraway

What's cooking?

A couple weeks ago my friend, Hilde, visited from Europe and we had some nice days together. She even helped me to paint my room!
One evening Mom was feeling good enough to help me out in the kitchen with one of her favourite recipes and Hilde took a quick photo of the event. The dinner turned out just great and it was a blessing to share the meal together with a friend.
Since then Mom's pain level has been pretty high and that is always complicated by the weather conditions. When it's humid, mom's pain level goes up a notch or two. Even on a "good" day, mom rests around a level 4 pain, with 10 being the highest. Lately it's been nearly a constant 10, even with her pain medication... and the weather has been very humid and hot for this season. Please pray that the weather will clear and that mom won't feel the pain like she does now.
When mom hurts so much, we all stick closer to home, of course. I usually only go out for 1-2 hours at the most, and then only if necessary. Otherwise, Barbarah and I take turns being home with mom, with some occasional relief from my sister-in-law, Darlene.
Mom enjoys beating me in Scrabble, though I won a few days ago! And, later this afternoon, her cousins, Karl + Diane will be stopping by for a visit and some coffee.

As for me, my days are filled up quickly with home projects... things that mom has wanted to be done for months and, in some cases, years. This past weekend we finally got rid of rusty old shed in the backyard that was collecting amazing amounts of junk. So, now I'll fill that area with good dirt and seed it - I might plant a tree there in the Spring. By European standards we have a fairly large "garden" and mom has always wanted a maple tree that has special leaves that look kind of 'silvery' on one side. Hope I can find that someplace. But, for now, I'll just seed some lawn there. It's almost time to mulch the gardens and do some other pruning, not to mention planting bulbs. In this way I do "get out of the house".
I also have some short coffee visits with friends now and then. This week I'll get together with Cindy, who led me to the Lord in 1970. She was my high school teacher and we've stayed in touch all these years, though we don't see one another very often. I'm looking forward to that visit.
I get together almost every week with another dear friend who I've known since high school - Claudia. It just bedazzles me that we've known each other for 35+ years! She and her husband and family are passionate Christians and I am so blessed by this friendship.

So, that's what's cooking these days.

Harvest - Sukkot

Last week, on the way home from a visit with my dear friends, Rick and Mildrid... I stopped at a pumpkin patch.

Beautiful orange pumpkins, together with squash and decorative maize was a sight to behold!

Honey was surrounded by great big pumpkins and helped me pick out a few to take home.

This was an amazing cultural experience for my Norwegian friend, Hilde, who was with us. I think I bought 3 large pumpkins, 2 squash and a number of small decorative squash for only $10!

Pumpkins in America are symbolic for Harvest-time - a time traditionally celebrated with a holiday called "Thanksgiving", the 4th Thursday in November.

It is a vague reflection of a Biblical celebration called the "Feast of Tabernacles" or "Sukkot"... also a time of giving thanks to God.

Let's give God thanks, taking time to remember His grace and goodness in our lives.

Day by day

Sometimes I chuckle when someone writes or asks me how my "vacation" is going... sometimes I don't. Just to be clear - this has been one of the most difficult seasons in my life - ever.

It's a total switch from my "normal" globe-trotting, solo lifestyle as a missionary living in Europe, to a "stay-at-home" caretaker, living with 2 women (my mom and my sis) and 3 dogs here in this beautiful blue house in Minneapolis.

Most of the time, the only time I get "outside" is to work in the garden, listening to an intercom in case mom needs something. However, the garden has benefitted substantially from this; I've put in a patio (with help) in the back and am adding a new sidewalk path around the house. Perennials have been planted and pruned as well as some other landscaping. Our family grapevine (handed down through 3 generations) flourished this year, providing a bumper crop of sweet red grapes which made a yummy jelly and some wine.

My day usually begins with taking Honey for a morning walk. When I get back to the house, Barbarah and I help mom get dressed and make her breakfast. Then I make my own breakfast and feed the dogs. Mom, Barbarah and I sometimes have a brief "together time" at the table before Barbarah heads off to work at 8:30.

Today I'll be taking mom to the doctor for a regular bloodtest which determines if her blood is thin enough so that her heart doesn't have problems. Getting mom actually out of the house is a big deal, as mom is otherwise never out of the house. She rides on a little scooter/wheelchair down the big ramp at the front of the house (SO glad we had this built on 1,5 years ago!) and then over to the car. I help her out of her chair into the car (an art in itself) and then we drive off to the clinic. At the clinic I get a wheelchair and transfer her from the car to that, and we go in to the clinic. 20 minutes later we repeat the whole process in reverse. On the way to and from the clinic I will take a different route so that mom can see what's going on in the neighborhood. Today I hope the sun is shining so she can see the beautiful Fall leaves along the Mississippi River, which is only 1 km from our house. Keep in mind, this entire trip is within 5 km.

During the day I keep the house tidy, prepare meals for mom and I, help her with a myriad of small tasks which are difficult for someone whose hands don't work well anymore because of severe arthritis. Sometimes I go out to the store for an hour or so, but then I have to make sure mom has her mobile phone handy in case she needs to call.

Mom spends quite a bit of time at her computer - a welcome distraction for her constant pain. She surfs around shopping or playing games or reading emails or passing on those "pass-it-on" emails to her mailing list friends. I'm also grateful that Barbarah taught mom the ins and outs of computering from the beginning. It is her portal to the outside world and a healthy distraction. She doesn't buy much but she does enjoy to look at a number of online catalogues. She can even do the grocery shopping on computer - ah, the marvels of life in the USA!

Around 5:30, Barbarah comes home from work... the dogs greet her with barks and wagging tails and I feel the same inwardly. On Wednesday evenings I go to my church and Sundays I have a "free" day when Barbarah stays at home.

That's it. One day at a time... for 5 months now it's been about the same.

How do I feel about it?

I absolutely LOVE being with my mom! I feel a deep gratefulness that I can help her and just be with her. I don't feel like I'm repaying her for always 'being there' for me... it's more like I'm being the way she modeled for me to be. It's something you just do for someone you love.

Is it easy? NO WAY!

I keep thinking I'll adjust to this different lifestyle and not miss my home, my friends and my life in Holland. It may sound funny but Honey is a nice reminder of my "other life" there. I can speak to him in Dutch and he doesn't think it's strange at all.

This past week I was paid a visit by a dear friend from YWAM in Holland, Hilde. It was refreshing to be with her and to hear all sorts of news from "home", to remember that I do have a place there still and a friend who loved me enough to travel all the way here to visit me.

Well, I've rambled on enough for today... it's 6:45 and it's time to take Honey for a walk... it's also my only real "quiet time" before the day begins.

Honey qualified for Earthdog competition

Many of you are thinking - "what in the world is a EARTHDOG???"

Well, actually the word "terrier" would be correctly translated as "earthdog". It's the breed that loves to chase rodents, dig them up, get stuck in holes sniffing out their dens, etc.
Earthdog is a sporting competition of the AKC (American Kennel Club) here in the USA that is specifically for terriers to test their ability to do what they were originally bred to do: chase and capture vermin (i.e. unwanted rats, mice, moles, squirrels, etc.).

The competition includes freely entering an underground hole and tunnel of 30 feet/10 meters long and find a cage of rats. When they find the cage of rats they need to let the owner know that they found them by barking and digging at the cage (or, in Honey's case, biting the cage because he wants to get the rats!).

Honey has been training for this competition during the summer with the local Fox Terrier club here in the Minneapolis area. This past weekend he qualified by getting a ribbon in the "Intro to Quarry" competition, which is like a Beginner's degree. If you want to see more, go to Honey's website (www.belindaloo.com/Honey.html ) and there is a short video clip of him going in the tunnel to get the rats. By the way - the rats are in cages for their own safety!


It has been great fun to train Honey for this and most of it comes naturally to him. This is what he was bred to do and he absolutely loves it!

We tried to get his Junior Earthdog title this past weekend, too, but his times were too slow or he became distracted from the tracking the scent. However, he shows great promise (said the judges) and so we might go to one more competition in November to see if he can win the Junior Earthdog title.

It's been fun to get out of the house into the outdoors world and meet other people here like this. Honey thinks it's great fun, too!

My home church in the USA

I know my friends in Holland are curious about my home church here in the USA. So, last Sunday I took some pictures at church and I'm posting a few of them here.
The name of my church is "Sojourn Campus Church" and it's located on the campus of the University of Minnesota, about 4 miles from where I live. When I was a student at the Univ. of Minn. (1973-1978) I attended a small prayer meeting of young adults who were praying for God's presence at the campus. We wanted revival, salvation, a move of God among our fellow students! In the years following, we started to see that happen and our small prayer group grew to a couple hundred hungry young hearts who were radical for Jesus. It was soon thereafter that we became a church.
The name comes from, among other places in the Bible, 1 Peter 1:17 ( Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as sojourners here in reverent fear of the Lord) and Heb 11:13 (All these died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them from afar off and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and sojourners on the earth. For they who say such things shew clearly that they seek their country. And if they had called to mind that from whence they went out, they had had opportunity to have returned; but now they seek a better, that is, a heavenly one; wherefore God is not ashamed of them, to be called their God; for he has prepared for them a city.)
It's appropriate because our primary outreach is among university students who are is a season of sojourn away from their homes and countries while studying. It also keeps the focus of our lives here on earth as temporary and in preparation for heaven.

I've added some photos of our meeting last Sunday and our pastor, Craig Krueger.

It's a blessing to be at home with this wonderful church family!
More later, Belinda

Welcome to my world

Normally I'm writing about adventures all across the globe where God has opened doors of missionary ministry...

Since May I've had a different ministry - no less important, no less effective, no less in the eyes of God: I'm caring for my mother.

This is a concept largely lost in the western world. We have "places" that care for the elderly, instead of family caring for family. I'll admit, I was not able to care for my father before he passed away in 2001 - he was a cantankerous ol' coot who wasn't about to listen to any of his offspring.... God's mercy prevailed and he accepted Christ as his Saviour 7 hours before he died, while lying in a hospital bed.

Mom is a far different story than dad. Mom accepted Christ a dozen years ago and lives by grace each day. My sister, Barbarah and I are committed to care for mom as long as we are physically and medically able. Right now that means full-time care because mom is unable to walk on her own after she fell and broke her foot a few weeks ago. But, I'll give her credit, because she is really trying to be independent and not giving up. She does what she can and we do the rest.

This morning I realized that Barbarah is somewhat similar to Mary - she is a great companion for mom... and I'm the Martha on the scene - caring for the house. We are both learning lots from each other, even tho it's not an easy situation. Mom is pretty gracious throughout each of our mood-swings (tho I'm having most of those). Barbarah has cared for mom constantly throughout quite a number of years and medical emergencies. I swoop in every now and then and lend a hand as I've been able to. Usually that's several weeks. Now that it's going on month 4 I feel the weight of responsibility each and every day - it's been a difficult adjustment for me - the single missionary.

Grace is what I need each day - don't we all?

The photos: Our house, a welcome stone I painted, Mom and her puppy, Bridget

The Bridge collapsed!

Yesterday evening during rush hour (6 p.m.) the 35W highway bridge over the Mississippi River near my house unexpectedly collapsed!

About 50-60 cars, trucks, and a full school bus crashed down into the river and onto the banks. Amazingly, only 6 people were killed, but many more injured, and the whole city is shaken. Just the day before I was on that bridge during rush hour, so I could well imagine the horror.

Rescue efforts continue today, though no hope is given to any victims in submerged autos. Some may still be trapped underneath the bridge structure and as many as 30 people are still missing. All of the children in the school bus escaped with minor injuries.

Lord, hear our prayers!

Whew!

After a very long week of lifting mom from place to place because of her broken foot, we were relieved to hear the orthopaedic surgeon's prognosis yesterday. Mom doesn't need surgery or a cast but has been fitted with a restrictive boot which she only needs to have on when she walks.

And mom has been walking, albeit very tenderly and painfully, several steps from chair to bathroom, etc. with the aide of her "walker". She still needs constant assistance, but no longer does she need 2 of us to lift her from chair to wheelchair/scooter or toilet.

This is a praise report indeed!

Mom can stay at home while her foot is healing (and her many bruises and bumps) and we are able to care for her more easily (especially good news for my aching back!).

Whew! What a blessing!

Thanks for your prayers... please keep praying because life is not so easy for any of us with these restrictions. And pray for a speedy healing for dear mom.

911

Thanks for checking in to my blog today because we could sure use your prayers for Mom.

On Tuesday she was letting the puppy out to pee and when Bridget tugged Mom lost her footing and fell on the front deck outside. She hit her forehead and smashed her face into the polywood and bled quite a bit; her knees are bruised and her left foot is broken in 3 places!

No one was home at the time; I was just returning from a short trip to visit family in Florida and Barbarah was at work. Mom wears a mobile phone around her neck but didn't have the power on and in the heat of the moment wasn't able to figure out how to turn it on (hold the button in for one second).
Anyhow, there she lay for nearly a half hour, crying for help until one of our neighbors found her and called 911. The paramedics came quickly and got her in the house about the same time Barbarah got home (the neighbor had called her). Mom's heart rate, blood pressure, etc. were stable so they cleaned up her wounds. They wanted to take her to the Emergency Room but Mom didn't want to go to the hospital if it wasn't absolutely necessary.

I arrived home from the airport a few hours later and checked her over(I have First Aid training and I know mom). I was concerned because her left foot was so painful and yet there was very little swelling. I got her foot elevated and put ice on it, but I suspected a break.

The night was long and very painful for mom. In the morning she was definitely willing to go to the hospital. We called 911 again and they took her in. Barbarah and I spent most of Wednesday at the hospital getting mom thoroughly checked over and xrayed, etc. In the late afternoon we brought her back home with a pressure bandage on her left foot/ankle which you can see in the photograph. On Monday she will either get a cast or surgery on her foot.

This has quite serious consequences because mom is unable to bear her weight on her right leg and therefore we need to actually lift her to transfer her from her chair to a wheelchair/scooter or to the toilet or whatever. My back isn't strong enough to keep this up for long and neither is Barbarah's back. Together we can handle it quite well but Barbarah isn't here during the day.

Please pray for strength and grace and healing. Mom's a bit shaken, as we all are, but she's quite brave through it all and trusting the Lord. We are praying lots, thanks for yours!

A friend of mine wrote this in her newsletter today and it's quite fitting:

I saw this picture of a single flower, it made me think how all plants begin with one seed. Prayers are also seeds. A seed is small and looks insignificant but within it holds the potential to grow into something beautiful. Prayers also seem small and insignificant but also within them is held a great potential for beautiful things to grow. I have used your prayers as seed. They have given me strength, safety, spiritual insight and security.

Family reunions

These past two weeks we've had our annual family reunion in Minnesota and a reunion among our family in Florida. I was able to be at both and it was a special treat to see everyone again. I'm trying to have personal visits with each of them while I'm in the USA (and inviting them all to come visit me in Holland!). Cousins, aunts, uncles, second cousins... it's great! And aren't they all just beautiful?!!
There is no place like home and family is home!

The 4th of July

Well, Honey and I celebrated the American Independence Day today with grand style - we dressed up and participated in a Westie Walk with about 25 other Westies. I won't show you all the photos, just the cutest ones of Honey in his red/white/blue bandana...

Of course, then he met an odd animal and wondered what it was??? I think Honey is in culture shock - they dress up dogs here! (yuk!) Well, it was fun to be with a whole group of Westies for a few hours. Then we went and had hot dogs, beans, potato salad, etc at my friends house (thanks, Dan & Jessie) and continued the celebration!

All in all, a memorable day in America.

Gone Fishing

Today I went fishing with my second cousin, Karl and his wife, Diane in Byron, Minnesota. It was great to get the fishing pole out and cast the line into the water... wait for that little bobber to get dunked under and tug on the line, reeling in a little sunfish or crappie fish.

Karl and Diane have done alot more fishing that I have or maybe ever will do, and that's what was fun about it, too - they love to fish! They don't need to be reeling in a big halibut in Alaska... nope, just fishing in the reservoir for little fish was fun for them, too.

I caught 5 little fish in all... nothing even big enough to eat. But it was fun to stand next to the water and remember that fishing takes patience.

This is a good lesson for all of us... and no surprise that Jesus recruited fishermen to become fishers of men. It takes patience. Not a very common commodity in this day and age.

Thanks, Karl and Diane, for reminding me of the fun and the fruitfulness of patience in fishing.

By the way, Honey went fishing with us, too... and he learned a thing or two as well! Honey likes fishing!

Blessings,

Belinda

Enjoying Minnesota

Last week I had some vacation time in northern Minnesota with a life-long friend, Marcia. We hiked, looked for shiny agate rocks on the shore of Lake Superior, and went out in the evenings in search of forest wildlife.
In many ways it was just a restful week with a dear friend - the kind that you can enjoy being silent with or just go your separate ways for a while.
My gratefulness has grown as I've received God's shalom, here in my home place: Minnesota.


Here are some photos I took while on vacation. By the way, this flower is the rare state flower of Minnesota: the Lady Slipper. We found a patch of them near the cabin we stayed in!
Blessings,
Belinda

Happy Honey

Last night Honey and I went to EarthDog training.

Earthdog (which is what "terrier" actually means) is a skill that terriers of all sorts can develop and compete in. What we did last night, as beginners, was to introduce Honey to rats (in a cage) to see if he has hunting instinct. A+ in that department! Then he had to crawl through a small wooden tunnel about 4 feet long. No problem there, either. Then he had to follow a scented trail through the grass to find the rat cage - he was very quick in this, too. Finally we took him to the earthdog course - this is an underground maze of tunnels that open up in certain sections so you can start your dog close to the end (which is where the cage of rats is) or midway or at the beginning. The entire maze is probably about 20-25 feet in length, including one 'dead end'. The terriers have to go through the entire length, following the scent to the right end and then bark for 20 seconds at the cage of rats. Honey was able to tunnel from the last section to the end (which included one turn) and find the rats and bark for that time.

This may sound like an odd exercize for many of you, but it's a joy to see your dog do what it was bred to do. Cute little West Highland White Terriers were bred to control vermin (rats, mice, rabbits, etc.) on farm properties in Scotland. My Westie has this same blood in him and would love to help control the gray squirrel population here in Minneapolis (thousands upon thousands!), he is fascinated with them! He used to be fascinated with cats, but they are not at all interesting to him compared with the squirrels.

Well, it was great fun and the organizers said that Honey will most likely have no problem earning the title of Junior or even Senior Earthdog this year! The trials are in September, so we'll be practicing every other week until then.

The picture above is a very tired Honey after being Mr. Earthdog last evening.

Blessings,

Belinda (aka "Earthdog Mom")

What's the buzzzzzz....?

Believe it or not, my little retreat in northern Minnesota ended with a bout of malaria!

Yep, I had the whole thing: high fever, headaches, chills, sweats, fainting, nausea - one big total YUK!

Not a nice way to end my retreat, but I was very thankful to get back home, get to the doc, and get some antibiotic treatment.

Because I fainted I hurt my back and so now I'm getting some treatment for that as well. My goodness, who would have thought this might happen?

I'm so thankful my life, my time, my days are in God's hands and I can totally trust Him.

All these years that I've travelled back and forth to Africa and other 3rd world countries and have never gotten malaria... and now, I get all the way back home to the USA and it hits me.

For those of you who thought this couldn't be possible (and I was one of those), apparently you can get bit by a malaria mosquito and the parasite remains dormant in your liver up to 1 or 2 years, when suddenly you get all the symptoms. This is not the "normal" way, but it sure is one of the ways it happens.

So, it could have been when I was in Egypt, or Rwanda, or Indonesia, or.... the Lord only knows, but I'm thankful I didn't get malaria in one of those places. I go to those places to be in ministry and 100% available to the people - it would not be great to get sick there for that reason but also because the health care systems there are much different and sometimes not very nice. God knew that, too.

So, I've been resting up and reading and enjoying being at home. I just took the last medication this evening...

"I trust in You, o Lord, I say You are my God. My times are in Your hands."

Reflection

In Northern Minnesota, on the shore of the Great Lake Superior...
Staying in a cabin for 10 days and enjoying solitude, no responsibilities or plans. Just me and Jesus (and Honey) communing in God's wonderful creation.
Hiking in the hills, along cascading creeks and rivers, getting up to see the sunrise on the lake.
Writing, singing, reading, resting, reflecting..
What a gift!

Helping hands

So, I'm here in Minneapolis, taking care of mom and just loving being with her. I took a picture of her hands and feet which are increasingly crippled from arthritis. This morning I helped her by filling her pill containers with small pills (and big ones) that she can't pick up because she's lost so much dexterity. In little activities like this we sit and chat while we're sorting everything. I'm her hands, she's still "the mom" and counsels me, instructs me in life. I'm 51, she's almost 76...
Since I've been home her pain levels have decreased and she's been able to sleep all night long a couple times. I'm praying for this to continue!
I love my mom!

Busy with B's

This cute little puppy may not look like a hand-full, but she is!
I'm not only caring for mom but for this 14 week old bundle of energy called Bridget. She is not potty-trained (mom + Barb saved that part for me!) and has basically been controlling the house for the few short weeks she's lived here.


My mission: train the puppy, care for mom, bring order to the house and be a BLESSING!
By the way, my mom's name is Barbarah, my sister's name is Barbarah, my sister's dog is Benjamin - he's 12 yrs old and showing it, my mom's puppy is Bridget, then there's me - Belinda, and Honey - a welcome relief to this female dominated household. So, I'm busy as a bee with the B's!

Flying across the globe!

We made it! Honey and me, in the plane, all the way across the world to the USA!

We are so happy to be here... especially Honey because he did not like being stuck in the small bag under the seat inside the plane. He gave me a new respect for the strength and tenacity of terriers. For whatever reason he basically got afraid once we got into the plane... we hadn't even taken off yet and he wanted OUT! I guess I made the mistake of letting his head out just to comfort him and see him for myself. He was wild-eyed and panting - not at all the same happy-go-lucky Honey that was trotting around the airport with me just minutes before.

I gave him some calming drops from the vet - didn't work. Gave him some more - still didn't work. Tried a different calming solution - nope. So then, I pushed his head back in (major effort here!) and zipped it. After 3-5 minutes (which seemed like an hour!) he resigned himself to his fate momentarily. A few hopeful minutes of quiet with the muffled sound of his panting inside the bag before he exploded with one last valiant effort - a brief burst of battle and bark. All was quiet as we headed west towards Minnesota.

I resisted the urge to peek in on him, kept my foot next to the bag so he could see/smell/feel me near and hoped for sleep for the both of us. We dozed for 8 long hours and emerged from the plane frazzled but extremely grateful to have survived fairly unscathed. Amazingly, several passengers commented on how well-behaved he was - they hadn't heard or noticed anything of the battle in row 44 (the last row in the plane... all 3 seats were ours!).

After a few days here now the jetlag has passed and we're adjusting to life in south Minneapolis. That life includes caring for my mom and training a 14week old puppy! My sis, Barbarah, left for vacation yesterday and so it's a big adjustment from my solo lifestyle back in my own home in Holland to sharing a 3 bedroom house with 3 women and 3 dogs (Barbarah has an elderly bichon named Benjamin).

Well, I've always said I like change!

Blessings, Belinda (and Honey, who's back to his calm self)

All the bags are packed...

Yes, we're ready to go!

Lots of activity around my Holland house on Blueberry street as I've been preparing to leave for the coming months.

A couple days ago I went around to my neighbors and explained that I'd be going for a while to care for my mom. Wishing me well they also assured me they'd keep an eye on my place - what a blessing to have this kind of relationship with my neighbors.

My dear friends, Marcia, Hilde and Terry will water plants, mow the lawn, check the mail and even help introduce the house to the person coming in to rent. This person hasn't materialized yet, but I still believe this will happen.

My Dutch ID card has not come through but their office assured me it would be no problem to pick it up when I return later this year. Whew! These situations are increasingly complicated in a world of turmoil, and I certainly don't take it for granted. Thank you for praying.

Yesterday, as I was packing up the last bits, the doorbell rang and I had surprise visitors from Australia! Sace and his daughter, AnneElise (all grown up!) came by. Sace and his wife, Anthea, used to work with me in the worship ministry at Heidebeek 11 years ago and I haven't seen them since. How wonderful to spend a couple hours with them! I was overjoyed at God's goodness!

Now, Honey and I are ready to roll this afternoon on our flight to Minneapolis and to the waiting arms of my dear family.

We'll be in touch! Blessings, Belinda and "Honey" in transit

Leaving soon

Hello - it's me again! I just wanted to send you a note to let you know that I'm leaving on May 1st (next Tuesday) for the USA. God put it on my heart to spend some time caring for my mother, so my plan is to be in Minnesota at least through Christmas. That's a long time to be away from Holland, but I know it's right. I trust God (and some dear friends) to care for my things here in Holland while I'm away. So, Honey and I leave in just a few days. I'm packing, taking Honey to the vet for his papers (he doesn't need to go into quarantine or anything), and preparing my house, etc. I have a couple prayer points - please pray with me for: A Christian to rent my house for most of the time I'm gone My Dutch ID card to be ready before I go No problems checking Honey in for the flight (in cabin!) and that he'll be calm and stay in his travel bag during the 8 hour flight. That I don't forget anything! My time in the USA is primarily to spend time with my mom, but I'm also on furlough and believe it will be a time of reflection on the past 25 years in missions. I've already planned a short retreat on the North Shore in May and look forward to unwinding and being refreshed in God's presence, nature walks, etc. Later in the Summer and Fall I may take an extension course at Bethel University - just to get some fresh input. I look forward to re-connecting with family, friends, my church and my culture again! Those of you financially supporting me in missions, I'd really appreciate if you continue to support me during this "furlough" time. Please let me know if you can't. Recently many of you responded to my financial plea for help and I'm blessed to say that all my additional expenses of the beginning of 2007 (taxes, dentist, travel, insurance, etc.) have been met! Thank you! Blessings, Belinda p.s. My 25th anniversary celebration was wonderful - I'm so grateful for those of you who could celebrate with me here in Holland. I hope to have a similar celebration in Minneapolis sometime soon. The C2W in Romania was intensive and very fruitful! The Europe Worship Link conference last week in Czech Republic was a time of glorious unity and established a greater network of key leaders in worship ministries across Europe. A link to a short video of our "Festival of Worship" nite at the EWL conference can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2CsT5aOgFI My website will be updated soon with more info and pictures from these events and more.... I just don't have time to do it right now, as you can well understand.

Unity in diversity

The conference ended this afternoon and I've just said good-bye, nashledanou, au revoir to most of the participants.

We came from 10 different nations and spoke as many different languages; the oldest was 60-something and the youngest was 20. We serve in traditional and contemporary churches, as choir directors, worship leaders, teachers, hymn- and songwriters, and in worship and rock bands that span the continent of Europe.

One of my most special moments was yesterday evening when we shared communion and prayed for our nations. Giving thanks, simply, graciously, humbly for the privilege to serve Jesus and to share His body and blood. It's difficult to describe sufficiently the feeling of being joined together in spirit with such a diverse group. Heartfelt prayers in Russian, Romanian, French, Latvian...

Strangers only three days before, we loved Jesus in worship, wept in God's presence and blessed each other and the nations we serve. I feel it is only a small glimpse of what it will be like when we surround God's throne in heaven and worship Him.

Like our Moravian (Czech) forefathers in missions, I have delighted in this credo:
In essentials, unity;
in non-essentials, diversity (or liberty);
in all things, charity.

In Ostrava, Czech Republic

Here are just a couple quick pics of our Europe Worship Link conference here in the eastern Czech mountains.

It's a wonderful privilege to fellowship and network with other key and influential worship leaders around Europe.

Alexander (above) is a choir master and worship leader in the Ukraine. Each person has their own story and their own areas of ministry but we all share the same heart: to call the nations to worship God!

It is especially encouraging to have such a diverse group: diverse in liturgy and generations. Whether we praise Jesus with hymns or prophetic expressions of praise - we all love Him!

Tonight we'll have communion together.

Blessings from the east!

Belinda

Where in the world?

Hello, faithful Belinda's Blog readers...

Where in the world am I now?

I'm in the eastern part of the Czech Republic just outside the city of Ostrava.

I'm here for a Europe Worship Link conference, which gathers key worship leaders from the nations of Europe together for fellowship and networking. I'm one of the 4 organizers of this event and arrived here yesterday after taking 2 different flights from Holland (and a sprint through the Prague airport!).

All the participants should be arriving today from places like Latvia, Ukraine, Ireland, France, etc. Around 35 brothers and sisters in Christ who are involved in worship ministries and have a heart for their nations. Sounds exciting, doesn't it?

I'm looking forward to see what God will do during these days and feel privileged to be a part of such a meeting.

Thanks for your interest and prayers.

More later.

Blessings, Belinda

Praise Party in Romania

Right now we're sitting in the Budapest airport, waiting for our connecting flight to Amsterdam in a couple hours. It's 8:00 in the morning and we've been up since 4:00 to get to the airport in Targu Mures (where we very nearly weren't let on the flight because the ticketing agent didn't know what to do with our e-tickets! That got us praying quickly and fervently!).

The Praise Party was yesterday evening and a fitting conclusion to an intensive but fulfilling week with the 15 students who attended the Call2Worship course. We heard precious, intimate love songs to God, vibrant evangelistic songs, a swedish folk song (it was great, Martin!), Romanian poetry set to music (thanks Adela and Narcisa!), and spontaneous Spanish praise (you're awesome, Selina!). Soon I'll upload some to my website, so check that soon.

And this was the way the new YWAM base in TgMures was inagurated! What a wonderful start to the ministry.

Please keep praying for Jerry and Carmen as they establish a YWAM ministry with a focus on worship and youth. They hope to have another C2W in Romania this summer and again next year!

As I have a few moments here to reflect upon this past week I see the faces of hungry, young hearts who have been delivered from evil in many forms. They sat and listened, hour after hour, taking copious notes and some of them with tears in their eyes as the Holy Spirit revealed His truth to them. We laughed during some of the practical applications and cried at the foot of the cross together. My staff team was wonderful, gifted, mature, and ministered in the power of the Holy Spirit - encouraging, praying, speaking words of life and truth and just loving on these young people. It was a powerful combination to have such an age difference (any one of them could have been my son or daughter, biologically)... it seems that many youth lack good examples in the older generation. They need spiritual mothers and fathers in the faith. God knew!

So, I return to my little home in Holland, bone-tired but satisfied and with a singing heart full of gratefulness!

Thursday in Transylvania

Hello from Transylvania!

I'm adding a few more pictures that I've taken which will give you an idea of what it's like here in Romania.

Above you'll see some gypsies, easily recognized here by the way they dress.

The big mural of God at the top is from a large orthodox cathedral here in town. Every wall and the entire ceiling of the cathedral was absolutely full of these kinds of paintings. It is amazing to see.

Then, this last photo is just looking up one of the streets in the town of TarguMures, where we're staying.

The 4 of us are staying at a Reformed Church guest house which also houses some sort of nursing training school. Each morning we have breakfast together around 8:30 and I assume that the students have eaten much earlier, so we have the dining hall to ourselves. Breakfast is usually some white bread, white cheese, sausage and some very strong coffee! The 4 of us (Didi, Rodney, Richard, and I) have had some wonderful discussions and prayer times together around the breakfast table - certainly something to look forward to.

We head on over to the YWAM house around noon for lunch together with the students and staff, after which we give some vocal and instrumental lessons to those who want them. Our program then officially begins at 2:30 p.m. with a staff prayer time and at 3:00 p.m. with praise and worship together. The students are split into 3 praise teams and take turns leading these times. There are then 2 afternoon teaching sessions before dinner at 6:00 p.m. Followed by one final session, a workshop, in the evening. It makes for a very long, but satisfying day.

On the first day I had a conversation with Sobe, a young man taking the course. He came to the Lord 2 years ago after searching for meaning amid the world of mediums and mystery. Apparently he'd said some horrible things to his father one evening and his father unexpectedly died the next day before he could make amends. Someone told him that he could "contact" his father through a medium, and this is what brought him to TarguMures and into the dark world of sorcery. A basketball friend of his was a Christian and Sobe felt the peace in this guys heart and longed for it, so he tagged along to church one day and accepted Christ! His life since then has been marked by his passion for God, the Father and worship has changed his life.

That is just one of the many amazing testimonies among the young worship leaders here in the Call2Worship course. Please keep praying for us with only 3 days left. We believe it will make a permanent difference in their lives and here in Romania!

Please also pray for spiritual protection for us as a staff and the entire class. To God be all the glory!

In northern Romania

Yesterday we started the Call2Worship here in Romania. Tirgu Mures is a good-sized town in the northern region of Romania called Transylvania. (yes, we found out that Count Vlad or Dracula was born not too far from here - however, he's a local hero from the wars with the Turks... all the stories about him were made up!)

We have about 20 students, all but 2 are Romanian. They're all young and eager to learn and grow. The YWAM staff has been great and they are real pioneers and servants. This is the first YWAM activity of their new base and they wanted it this way - to start with a worship course.

So, we are laying foundations, setting the tone, preparing for years of ministry ahead with this small but significant work.

The teaching staff (Richard, Didi, Rodney and I) are staying together in a church guest house and we have great unity. These guys really bless me. They've all paid their own way to come to Romania and now paying to stay in these guest rooms... generous givers and investors in youth.

More later... gotta get up and get going!

Blessings, Belinda

Songs in the Desert

We finished the Call2Worship yesterday with a joyous celebration of new songs of praise to our God!

I was impressed by the quality of these songs and blessed by the hearts of the students as they sang to Jesus. I have no doubt that this investment will be far-reaching; no only here in Egypt but among the nations.

Today we are free and are enjoying some rest as we prepare to return to Holland tomorrow afternoon.

Refreshing rains have come to this desert place, beginning last night and even this morning. I'm amazed at how violent the weather can be in such a short time. You can see the wind coming across the desert as the dust rises in the distance. Then the breeze hits you and you quickly take shelter. There's no such thing as a gentle rain, just a sudden torrent of drops impacting the dry ground and immediately disappearing as they're soaked up greedily into the ground.

Living in Holland I coexist with rain much of the year... but I found myself singing: "Let it Rain!" as the relief from the dust began this morning. Never thought I'd be so thankful to see rain. Africans always equate rain with God's blessing. This gives me new insight into the Scriptures.

Thank you for your faithful prayers while I've been here. Please pray us through until we reach Dutch soil again late Sunday evening.

You can be sure that we've seen God's Kingdom come and His will was done during these days.

Blessings, Belinda

Every Tribe...

We took some class photos today so now you can see some of these wonderful faces you've been praying for.
You're looking at 10 different "tribes" here and we've been enjoying our foretaste of heavenly worship. Jesus is the one who brought us together here - He is the center.
Only two days left and, as I've learned through my many years walking with the Lord now, He often saves the best for last.

Yesterday, Johnny, Nestor and I led the base worship time and, at the end, all of us spread out to the different corners of the compound to speak and sing out the name of Jesus. There's power in the name of Jesus!
Today, the difference in the atmosphere was nearly tangible and there has been a lifting of the heaviness that often hangs over the place because of the surrounding mosques. We've laughed so much today... a garment of praise exchanged for the spirit of heaviness... the oil of joy instead of mourning!
Tomorrow Nestor returns to Holland - the result of a booking that could not be changed. But we believe it's God's plan, not man's mistake. Johnny and I will continue on Thursday and Friday, ending with the Praise Party again...
The students are busy composing their second song - in their own language and in their own cultural way. Don't you wish you could be a "fly on the wall" and listen in?
Blessings,
Belinda

Streams in the Desert

Nothing could have prepared me for the shift in mindset from a western culture to this place...
Egypt is a country in Africa...
Africa I know - after 20+ years of travelling back and forth. But Egypt has a middle Eastern mindset, as far as I can tell.

Passionate people, full of fire...
They love their humor (and I love it, too!)...
Their food and mealtimes play a central role in their daily relationships... a good meal with a good friend...

Worship fills the air, albeit to the "allah" of Mohammed. Each morning around 04:00 there is a wake-up call by the imams - a call to worship and prayer, repeated at sundown and several times in between.

This morning when I woke to the notes being sung in the distance, I had the urge to leave my warm bed and stick my head out my window and sing out the name of Jesus!
Today I spoke about the spiritual battle surrounding worship. Satan is referred to as the "prince of the power of the air"... and in this land he seems to control the airwaves.
I want to lift up the name of Jesus in this land - to raise up worshippers who will praise His name in this land. There is power in the name of Jesus!

Praise Party in Egypt

To give you an idea of where we are... I've added a red arrow to show where my room is located.
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After a workshop I gave on Songwriting, each student was assigned a particular theme to compose and share a worship song in their own language.

At the end of this first week of teaching here in Egypt, we celebrated with a Praise Party, singing our new songs. It was a glimpse of worship around the throne!

Rev 7:9-10

After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb.

And they cried out in a loud voice: "Salvation belongs to our God,

who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb."

This weekend all the students are in Cairo, the foreigners hope to get their visas extended. It's also an opportunity to leave the desert, go to shops and do other things. Nestor has gone to Cairo for the day in hopes of meeting up with a friend of a friend. He'll be back this evening.

Tomorrow the three of us, together with Gerges, will go to Alexandria for a few hours of sightseeing and shops. It will be a nice break between the two weeks of teaching.

Please keep praying for us... I cannot say this often enough because we are on the spiritual frontlines here. Egypt is a muslim country with a minority of coptic Christians. Many times each day the 5 mosques surrounding our compound blare out the call to worship Allah and Mohammed. The students and staff have had a variety of strange ailments and scarey nightmares about fighting.

Two nights ago I woke in the dead of night feeling extremely dizzy, nauseous, with my heart racing amid hot/cold sweating. I kept trying to wake up or clear my mind enough to think and pray... finally I rebuked the enemy, praised the Lord and fell asleep, only to be woken with the same thing an hour later. The morning could not come soon enough for me, and I was fine... but it certainly gets you praying! I walked around my room in prayer, anointing the doorposts, windows with oil, consecrating my quarters and myself afresh to the Lord.
Keep in mind - your prayers may just turn the tide here in Egypt, among these few gathered here, learning to worship the LORD.

With the second week ahead of us, I believe the best breakthroughs are yet to come!

Praise the name of Jesus! Blessings,Belinda