One of my primary motivations is "responsibility" which makes it nearly impossible to let go and give up on commitments, promises and plans - to my own deficit and, at times, blocking God's greater purposes. I remember the paragraph in "The Shack" when God said that He was responsible and that I should be responsive. Lightning bolt from heaven - Belinda ash on the floor.
I had planned to go to a conference; it was the responsibility of committee members to attend. I had coordinated schedules, delegated subordinate responsibilities, planned in a blessing-respite to a young couple (to care for my "huisje-boompje-beestje"/house&dog while I left for 2 days), and packed my bags.
When I'm stressed I "work the list" of things to do, going through the motions no matter if my heart is in neutral or if that voice starts niggling at me. I don't give up easily. Many times that's handy, being so tenacious. In certain circumstances it is my undoing. This was one of those... actually, one in a series of those, if I think about it.
Wasn't it just last week and the week before that when the Lord spoke to me to "LET GO"?! So, I released my grip, allowed the blood to circulate again to my white-knuckled fist and opened my hands... a little.
That voice inside was getting louder...
When I had a 15 or 30 minute break in the action, I could hear it's persistent call, like a church bell on a Sunday morning. But... Could I stop? Should I stop? How do I stop?
I managed a quick phone call to a good friend and she came over, we talked, we prayed.
THE VOICE was unavoidable and it dawned on me.... it was GOD telling me to stop.
The very moment I yielded, listening and obeying... peace started seeping in.
I still had the emails to write, the phone calls to make, the disappointing faces of people to tell...
but I knew it was God.
So I stopped.
Instead of being gone for 3 days to a conference, I'm taking a time-out at home. Resting, getting refreshed in my body, soul and spirit.
It is good to hear, to listen, to stop, to rest when God tells you to.
The Lord is good and His lovingkindness endures forever.
