Sometimes I chuckle when someone writes or asks me how my "vacation" is going... sometimes I don't. Just to be clear - this has been one of the most difficult seasons in my life - ever.
It's a total switch from my "normal" globe-trotting, solo lifestyle as a missionary living in Europe, to a "stay-at-home" caretaker, living with 2 women (my mom and my sis) and 3 dogs here in this beautiful blue house in Minneapolis.
Most of the time, the only time I get "outside" is to work in the garden, listening to an intercom in case mom needs something. However, the garden has benefitted substantially from this; I've put in a patio (with help) in the back and am adding a new sidewalk path around the house. Perennials have been planted and pruned as well as some other landscaping. Our family grapevine (handed down through 3 generations) flourished this year, providing a bumper crop of sweet red grapes which made a yummy jelly and some wine.
My day usually begins with taking Honey for a morning walk. When I get back to the house, Barbarah and I help mom get dressed and make her breakfast. Then I make my own breakfast and feed the dogs. Mom, Barbarah and I sometimes have a brief "together time" at the table before Barbarah heads off to work at 8:30.
Today I'll be taking mom to the doctor for a regular bloodtest which determines if her blood is thin enough so that her heart doesn't have problems. Getting mom actually out of the house is a big deal, as mom is otherwise never out of the house. She rides on a little scooter/wheelchair down the big ramp at the front of the house (SO glad we had this built on 1,5 years ago!) and then over to the car. I help her out of her chair into the car (an art in itself) and then we drive off to the clinic. At the clinic I get a wheelchair and transfer her from the car to that, and we go in to the clinic. 20 minutes later we repeat the whole process in reverse. On the way to and from the clinic I will take a different route so that mom can see what's going on in the neighborhood. Today I hope the sun is shining so she can see the beautiful Fall leaves along the Mississippi River, which is only 1 km from our house. Keep in mind, this entire trip is within 5 km.
During the day I keep the house tidy, prepare meals for mom and I, help her with a myriad of small tasks which are difficult for someone whose hands don't work well anymore because of severe arthritis. Sometimes I go out to the store for an hour or so, but then I have to make sure mom has her mobile phone handy in case she needs to call.
Mom spends quite a bit of time at her computer - a welcome distraction for her constant pain. She surfs around shopping or playing games or reading emails or passing on those "pass-it-on" emails to her mailing list friends. I'm also grateful that Barbarah taught mom the ins and outs of computering from the beginning. It is her portal to the outside world and a healthy distraction. She doesn't buy much but she does enjoy to look at a number of online catalogues. She can even do the grocery shopping on computer - ah, the marvels of life in the USA!
Around 5:30, Barbarah comes home from work... the dogs greet her with barks and wagging tails and I feel the same inwardly. On Wednesday evenings I go to my church and Sundays I have a "free" day when Barbarah stays at home.
That's it. One day at a time... for 5 months now it's been about the same.
How do I feel about it?
I absolutely LOVE being with my mom! I feel a deep gratefulness that I can help her and just be with her. I don't feel like I'm repaying her for always 'being there' for me... it's more like I'm being the way she modeled for me to be. It's something you just do for someone you love.
Is it easy? NO WAY!
I keep thinking I'll adjust to this different lifestyle and not miss my home, my friends and my life in Holland. It may sound funny but Honey is a nice reminder of my "other life" there. I can speak to him in Dutch and he doesn't think it's strange at all.
This past week I was paid a visit by a dear friend from YWAM in Holland, Hilde. It was refreshing to be with her and to hear all sorts of news from "home", to remember that I do have a place there still and a friend who loved me enough to travel all the way here to visit me.
Well, I've rambled on enough for today... it's 6:45 and it's time to take Honey for a walk... it's also my only real "quiet time" before the day begins.
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