Pow - Wow

To Americans the Indian term "pow - wow" is familiar and it means a gathering to discuss important matters. That's what my family is doing these days because in 3 weeks I'll be flying back to Holland.

Eight months ago I arrived here with the purpose of caring for my mom and spending valuable time with her. It was God's grace that I could be here, especially during the extra care that was necessary after she fell and broke her foot early this summer. God has really taken care of the details and there is no reason to believe that will change now. I know it's right for me to return to Holland and I trust God is in control.

Many people have commented to me that they're amazed and blessed that I'd care for my mom like this. As I face my imminent departure the questions are being raised about mom's care. Are we considering assisted care living, a nursing home, or home health care, etc... It seems that we are in the minority when it comes to caring for an elderly parent. Probably 95% of the time here in America the most likely option is a nursing home.
Most of my 3rd world friends understand the responsibility of caring for an aging parent - to them it is "normal".

When Mom, Barbarah and I were "pow-wowing" about our options this evening, we each felt that it is important that somebody shows a different way of caring for their parent. Many people don't seriously consider it because they've never seen someone else do it. Next week we'll pow-wow with the rest of the immediate family about how we can continue to be family for one another in the days ahead.

Frankly, I totally understand that it's not always possible to care in this way for one or both parents... my father's care is a case in this point. When it was apparent that dad needed extra care and assistance, we siblings had a "pow-wow". I remember praying about it and asking God to speak to me clearly about whether or not I should leave the mission field for a time to care for dad. The answer was "no"... in my heart of hearts I knew, we all knew, that dad (known for his stubborness) would never have listened to any of us, thereby short-circuiting any care we could have given him. No, for dad it was better to include an unbiased 3rd party, the Good Samaritan nursing home. Dad's last days were the best we could provide, with lots of involvement and visits from each of us. This was absolutely the right scenario for dad.

With mom it's different - she is a team-player and the one who instilled in us the basics of what it means to be family. So, it's not just caring for her, but how we care for one another - that's family.